Trauma & Abuse Counsellor
Are you experiencing physical exhaustion, feel numb, hopeless or a failure; or perhaps you are having panic attacks, flashbacks or feel constantly anxious? Maybe you have come out of an abusive marriage or family circumstance or you have past childhood trauma that is unresolved.
There are many reasons why client’s seek counselling. Taking the initial step can seem very nerve-wracking and scary, but I offer an experienced service that allows you to feel validated and unravel those heavy burdens and off load them in a gentle and contained way that is both confidential and empowering.
What do I offer?
Specialised Trauma and Psychotherapy service
What are the benefits?
If you are interested to know more, go to the FAQ section or give it a try and book for a free 25-minute consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
– Domestic Abuse including physical, emotional, financial, and psychological
– Narcissistic abuse recovery
– Work abuse/bullying and unfair dismissal/redundancies
– Complex PTSD or PTSD from one event or overlapping events
– Flashback, insomnia, night sweats
– Childhood sexual abuse or rape, torture, neglect
– Adult abuse, neglect, torture
– Generalised Anxiety Disorder including panic attacks and night terrors
– All neurodivergent struggles and issues (ADHD, HSP, AUSTISM)
– Family and relationship issues
– Phobias and Intrusive thoughts/OCD (integrated with CBT)
– Bereavement and loss of loved ones, divorce, job issues
– New mothers and post-natal depression and problems
– Behavioural disorders (bi-polar, borderline personality disorder etc.)
– Alcohol and drug addiction recovery
– Self-Harm or Suicidal Ideation
– Eating disorders (weight issues, anorexia, and bulimia)
– Work-related issues, stress, bullying, redundancy
– Low self-esteem and confidence issues
– Anger issues including self-harm
– Stress-related issues leading to physical sickness, vomiting, disability, and psychosomatic physical disabilities including fibromyalgia, gut issues and IBS, autoimmune and thyroid problems, PMS and painful or irregular periods, joint pains etc.
Abuse is a broad term to mean a number for things. It can mean to use something to bad effect or misuse, it can mean when someone has treated us cruelly, mistreated another person or living thing, or it can also mean the improper use of something like “abusing your body with drugs or alcohol”, for example (Oxford Dictionary meaning 2023).
Abuse also comes in many different forms. If it is through the mistreatment of another, it can look like physical violence, sexual violence or unwanted touch or looks, psychological torture, blackmail, neglect, gas lighting, hurtful words spoken or forms of sarcasm, belittling, coercive and controlling behaviours to name but a few. If you have experienced abuse from another person, you will not always notice that it was even ‘abuse’ at the time. You may still not fully understand if it was. This is the nature of abuse. It hides, it gets minimised, it gets swept under the carpet. However, someone who has tasted abuse, remembers deep in their psyche, and it has nowhere to go, except inside your long-term memories. Often these memories seem lost (suppressed) and cannot even be retrieved (unconscious unresolved trauma). Yet as time goes on, a person will feel it in their bodies, they may begin to feel low or deeply depression for no apparent reason, they may develop OCD, anxieties, phobias, social isolation, panic attacks, experience flashbacks, night terrors, develop insomnia and racing intrusive thoughts or physical pains in their bodies or extreme exhaustion. They may start to feel very overwhelmed, distracted, unfocused, tired or they may be experiencing actual physical illnesses or disabilities that have manifested from so much suppressed trauma from abuse at some point in their pasts.
I have addressed many of the symptoms that can, and do, emerge from trauma and abuse in my clients, and I am still adding to this list each time I see new clients! If you feel that something isn’t right, yet you do not know exactly what that feeling is inside, and you have ruled out all possibilities with your GP of physiological explanations, it maybe time to address some hidden, unresolved trauma from abuse.
The way it affects your mental health can be extensive. This is why I put a symptoms list together breaking down both the possible physical, emotional (cognitive) and spiritual effects of trauma from abuse. If you recognise any of these, and you have worked with your GP and found no clear answers, then therapy can help shift this deep-seated trauma inside the body through many different interventions, too many to list here. Thanks also to evidence-based research in the field of neuroscience, we now know much more about the effects of trauma and abuse and how this manifest in the body as a whole. After all, we are a whole being and our issues are interconnected holistically.
Trauma manifests is so many ways this list is only a guidance. I have also attached a link in the resources for more information on trauma and healing and symptoms. Mind (UK) also have an excellent breakdown of the types of issues you may relate to. This list is not exhaustive but gives some idea of how it can manifest.
Psychosomatic (physical issues that are not stemming from physiological)
– R. Arthritis
– Autoimmune issues
– Fibromyalgia
– Underactive or overactive thyroids
– Diabetes
– Skin disorders, rashes,
– Low immunity and constant colds, sores, ulsers
Muscle tension – neck and shoulders tense and painful, stiffness, tense jaw, lockjaw, teeth grinding
Racing heart, panic attacks, and fluttering heart palpitations
Sensory overload (need to be alone, no interest in social gatherings, affected by sounds and noise)
Shooting pains and joint issues (stiffness, pains, aching joints)
Vomiting or nausea (at random times for unknown physiological reasons)
Biting nails, lips, playing with hair, fidgeting and needing to pace up and down
Lack of sleep – insomnia (mild to severe cases)
Panic Attacks (feeling like you will die or pass out)
PTSD (Flashbacks, night terrors, sweating, rapid breathing, holding breath)
Depression – mild to clinical depression (including being bed bound)
Anxiety – mild to extreme (including OCD and intrusive thoughts)
Exhaustion and extreme tiredness or amnesia
Incontinence or bed wetting (irregular)
Low vitamin levels (A, C, D, B) resulting in extreme lack of energy, tiredness, low mood or/and jaundice
Low mineral levels (lack of magnesium, iron, calcium etc) resulting in low or no energy, low mood, muscle pains
Struggling to breathe or shortness of breath
Feeling of impending doom
Nightmares
Convulsions, tics, or similar symptoms
Disassociation (feeling spaced out, forgetful as if amnesia, blackouts of events that have occurred)
Self-harm including cutting (to stave off physical numbness)
Jittery, restless, unsettled, restless leg syndrome, fidgety
Overeating (obesity) or undereating (bulimia, anorexia) poor diet and lack of desire to eat or drink
Drinking too much alcohol, cigarettes or taking drugs (to prevent feeling)
No focus or concentration
Procrastination (no desire or avoidance of all tasks needed to be done)
Panic and manic episodes (seeming crazy and out of control)
Need to experience extreme action sports, events or make rash inappropriate decisions (destructive decisions)
Making unhealthy lifestyle choices (destructive choices)
Twitching eyes or eye lids (on and off, coming and going)
Dry and sticky eyes, pimples and spots on eye lids, ulcers and sores inside mouth or on lips, face etc.
Headaches and severe migraines (common and get worse – needing to be in a dark room)
Senses are heightened (can’t see bright lights, startled by loud noises, ambulance passing)
Hypervigilance (noticing the movements, reactions of others in extreme detail)
Losing temper quickly for no apparent reason, followed by extreme remorse or shame after
Appearing confused and disorientated
Dissociative Physical behaviours – feeling dizzy, spaced out, brain fog, lost in own world, no focus)
Mental Health Symptoms
Large chunks of forgotten past memories (childhood amnesia)
Critical inner voice (I am useless, stupid, ugly, old, fat, worthless, unloved)
Negative outlook on life/fear responses (unhealthy thinking style/cognitive dissonance/survival responses)
Confusion and/or being overwhelmed by simple things
OCD with intrusive thoughts (sexual or violent nature, or ritual-based washing/checking/organising)
Feeling the need to maintain a sense of extreme control (lists, needing order, checking, counting etc)
Extreme emotions, crying uncontrollably, or numbing – experiencing little to no pain or discomfort, including need to fantasize about self-harm (find relief in form of self-harm) such as cutting (for example)
Feeling of doom, extreme fear of bad things happening, no future planning or hope
Angry, shouting, screaming, hitting, or burst of uncontrollable rage on self or others
Self-blame, extreme guilt (often guilt from others) and shame (toxic shame)
Suicide ideation (imagining killing yourself or others, dark thoughts)
Little or no concern for consequences – erratic and dangerous and risky behaviours
Acting out destructive obsessions (overspending, racking up debts, unhealthy sexual desires and fantasies of a sexual nature, suicidal thoughts and plans to act out suicidal thoughts in extreme detail)
Intrusive thoughts (doing bad things to self or others, or imagining catastrophes and no end to misery, imagining death, or dying)
Irritable or violent or odd mood swings
Nightmares/flashing images (daytime) leading to insomnia (see Physical too)
Imposter Syndrome (feeling that you don’t deserve success or recognition – false reality)
Spiritual Symptoms
No purpose or hope for life or desire to understanding or reflect out it
No connection to others, or desire to connect to nature/or any spiritual unseen force (God/Allah)
No sense of feeling in the body (dumbness/void) internally and externally
Self-blame and critical voice – no inner peace and no ability to control unhealthy desires
Denies and pushes aside any intuitive feelings or gut instincts – strong self-doubt
Feeling of disconnectedness and discomfort (dis-ease)
Confusion and anger, hatred for religion or thought of death/afterlife etc.
Fear of afterlife, death, impending feeling of panic and accountability
Disgust and shame, feeling of guilt and self-loathing internal self
Strong sexual desires, unnatural or unpleasant desires that don’t feel like ‘they belong to you’, including out of body experiences and overactive racing minds and thoughts.
I work with individual clients, adults (male and female) and children from age 12 onwards from all backgrounds, cultures and ethnicities and I work as a culturally sensitive therapist.
I am trained to work as a traditional therapist/counsellor in terms of offering individual talking therapy. Talking therapy offers clients a safe and confidential space to talk through their problems and feel heard with a non-judgmental and compassionate therapist. It allows clients to work through genuine struggles at their own pace and always with their personal needs in mind.
There are different types of theories that professional therapists work with. I work as an Integrative Therapist, which means that I use many different theories in an appropriate manner, that suit the clients’ personal needs. I focus on three main theories:
Person-centred therapy – this theory was introduced mainly by Carl Rogers, who maintained that therapy should have the minimum of the three core conditions within every session: to show deep empathy, being genuine and real (congruent) and have unconditionally positive regards for your clients (UPR). This ensures that you always have the best interests of your clients at the heart of every session. This theory is extremely important for clients who have suffered abuse in their life and need a soft, gentle ear to listen and feel understood. It is also helpful for clients with very low self-esteem issues and have never had to space to feel loved or valued in their lives.
I also use the interventions from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) including ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) and SFT (Solution Focused Therapy) which remains more in the present only. It aims to be more productive and goal focused. This theory suits clients who may only want a limited number of sessions or whose issues are mostly present-day issues, rather than past aspects and those who benefit from more goal-oriented sessions with guidance, homework with psychoeducational/neuroscience education.
Clients who have benefitted from this type of therapy tend to have had the following issues:
– Relationship/marriage, family, school or work issues
– Low self-esteem, confidence issues, lack of focus and direction
– Obsessive Compulsive Disorders/intrusive thoughts/Phobias (EPT theory)
– Milder forms of depression and anxiety (that affect their day to day lives)
Some clients have experienced past issues that may require them to talk about their past childhoods or adult issues, perhaps due to trauma or all aspects of abuse.
I would then tend to focus on the psychodynamic theory models to guide clients towards understanding their unconscious/subconscious behaviours (that have come from past traumas) that are still affecting them in their present lives, working on making connections to their past to make sense of them and become more self-aware of personal triggers and begin to healing past trauma.
The model can also be used for clients who are dealing with all forms of loss and grief. This type of theory is useful for clients who have experienced the following issues:
– All forms of trauma (childhood or adult domestic and family abuse, work or school-related abuse/bullying)
– PTSD and Complex PTSD (childhood or adult Post traumatic stress disorder)
– Mental Health Behavioural Disorders (Borderline Personality Disorder, Bi-polar etc.)
– Severe cases of Phobia and (OCD) obsessive compulsive disorders (with PTSD/C-PTSD)
– Grief and loss (divorce and separation, death of loved ones, loss of jobs, childhoods etc.)
However, in addition to talking therapy, I offer a more holistic style of therapy for clients who choose to explore to heal in more creative ways. This is particularly useful for adults who have experienced childhood issues (trauma), Complex PTSD and PTSD, domestic abuse issues and mental health issues such as clinical depression, bi-polar, borderline personality disorder and other forms of mental health disorders and struggle to find the voice to express their thoughts and emotions through voice alone.
Many other forms of holistic healing can be used alongside this, such as sensory recognition work, guided art interventions and drawing, writing, art and poetry journaling and body expression work (somatic healing), mindfulness and breathwork. I work collaboratively with clients and implement interventions that suit the client’s needs and passions.
Modern neuroscientific research also demonstrates that talking therapy is only one part of the healing process for trauma clients and that there are also other interventions alongside talking therapies that can help clients to heal more effectively in a holistic manner. For more information, please see my services, Trauma and Abuse Psychotherapy.
I offer a bespoke service that incorporates modalities and interventions that can truly change people’s mental, physical, and spiritual health and offer them psychoeducation to actively working for change and empower themselves towards hope and growth.
By looking at the person as a whole, mentally, physically and spiritually then tailoring a unique program that suits the client best based on their needs, personality traits, senses, learning styles, strengths and passions; for example, healthy eating plans including naturopathic remedies, physical movement/exercise, using nature, art, poetry and writing and mindful meditation and breathing exercises (mindfulness) to bring about healing, art/well-being journaling can all increase an adult or child’s quality of life and tap into their unresolved trauma in a holistic and gentle manner.
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Healing from Abuse Related Trauma
Healing from Domestic Abuse can take time and multiple counselling sessions